Season one episode two of Manage with Confidence continued the theme of feedback and other high-stakes conversations. This episode was a guest episode with psychologist, Caroline “Caz” Katz, where we discussed the psychology and psychodynamics of feedback. Caz’s doctoral research is all about feedback and it’s fascinating!
Here are five of my favourite moments from my conversation with Caz:
- Good feedback conversations come down to the quality of the relationship with each other. Think about how you can improve the quality of relationships with your team members.
- There is a world of difference between giving task feedback and personal feedback. Task feedback, such as telling someone to correct a mistake on an Excel spreadsheet, is low stakes. Personal feedback can be high stakes as it may involve the feedback recipient’s self-esteem, and feelings of shame, embarrassment or guilt which can manifest as upset.
- There’s a concept called ‘unthought knowns’, developed by psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas. This is where we can simultaneously know something subconsciously and are surprised when we are made aware of it. This is one of the things that can impact feedback reactions.
- Listening is critical when it comes to giving feedback. As Caz asks, “Are you prepared to listen to their [feedback recipient] take?”
- For us to be self-aware requires the internal and external. Internal is our personal reflections, our narrative of who we are. External input is about how accurate I am in how I think other people perceive me – how do I land with other people? Sometimes there’s a discrepancy in this. However, to get alignment requires feedback from other people – whether you ask for the feedback, or it is offered to you.
- As Caz says, “it takes two to know one”. In other words, we cannot know ourselves purely through our own introspection. We need input from others.
© 2026 Sketchnote by Hayley Lewis
What were your favourite moments from the episode? What made you go ah-ha?!
About the Manage with Confidence podcast
The Manage with Confidence podcast is full of practical and evidence-based tools, tips and skills to help you be the best people manager possible.
It was launched in 2026 by Dr Hayley Lewis and is listened to by people managers, HR professions and coaches in 22 countries around the world. It exists to support people managers, because better managers means better business and better worklife.
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Post author: Dr Hayley Lewis. First published on the HALO Psychology website 7 June 2026 (updated 19 October 2026).
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