An analysis of more than 35 million job postings, published in the American Journal of Sociology, suggests that good people management now is less about command and control and more about coordinating, collaborating and coaching to get things done. This shift is more prevalent in innovation focused organisations.
The problem is that too many managers are stuck in the habit of always having to have the answers and being the problem solver. I see this clearly in coaching conversations with managers, where they talk about being pulled into the weeds – essentially, doing the work of their direct reports. This not only undermines and disempowers direct reports, but it can also leave managers burned out because they are doing their work and the work of others.
In this article, you’ll learn:
- The benefits of using a coaching style
- Essential skills for coaching
- 10 powerful coaching questions
The benefits of a coaching style
Facilitating positive change: Research by Ventaka Nanduri found that the long-term effects of coaching included increased self-awareness, sustained behavioural change and improved performance. While research in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology found that coaching can be an effective approach for facilitating change in several areas including, resilience, wellbeing, solution-focused thinking and transformational leadership behaviours.
Sense of control: A study in China looked at anxiety and the relationship with adaptive performance (understanding and adjusting to changes in the workplace) and the impact different coaching styles would have. They found that a facilitative style of coaching, where the coachee is encouraged to explore ideas and try things out, can enhance a person’s feelings of control.
Positive impact on learning: A 2018 study, involving more than 500 people across nearly 100 engineering teams, found that managers who used a coaching style positively impacted team and individual learning.
Positive impact on performance: A Finnish study examined the impact of a managerial coaching style on performance and work engagement. The study, involving almost 900 people across a range of organisations, found that good quality managerial coaching was linked with good individual performance but there was an even stronger link between managerial coaching and team level performance.
Knowledge sharing: One study found that experiencing coaching from one’s manager daily seemed to increase people’s feelings of gratitude which, in turn, seemed to facilitate more knowledge sharing between team members. This seemed to be more so for direct reports who believed they were not overqualified (knowledge, skills and expertise). This group were more likely to value managerial coaching and see it as a positive.
Essential skills for coaching
Managerial coaching consists of three elements:
- Providing guidance – clarifying performance expectations, providing feedback, and discussing ideas on how to improve.
- Facilitation – creating a learning space to help people think about and explore ways to solve problems.
- Providing inspiration – encouraging people to learn and grow, seeing and reaching their potential.
Underpinning managerial coaching, are three essential skills that professional coaches also require:
- Asking open questions
I know when I was a manager – and a frustrated and stressed manager at that – there would be times I’d ask rhetorical, closed, or leading questions. Leading questions are a particularly common trap for managers to fall into. As Michael Bungay Stanier says in his book, The Coaching Habit,
“Stop offering up advice with a question mark attached.”
Depending on the situation, you can use one or more levels of the three-level questioning technique:
| LEVEL 1 | Focuses on information and data. Your aim is to find out how things seem. | Questions starting with ‘What’, ‘When’, ‘Where’, ‘How’, and ‘Who’ are typical here. |
| LEVEL 2 | Focuses on meaning and implications. We want to find out how someone feels about something. | Examples of questions include, What do you think/feel about that?What does this mean for/to you?What are the implications of this?What interests you about this? |
| LEVEL 3 | Focuses on learning about values, beliefs and attitudes – why people think a certain way. | Examples of questions include, What led you to believe that?Why is this important to you?What concerns you about this?Why do you think you reacted that way? |
When it comes to good coaching questions, short and to the point is key. As coaching psychologist, Hazel Anderson Turner, says in her book, Coaching through Burnout,
“The longer the question is, the more likely it is that have snuck some of our advice or opinion within it.”
2. Engaging in deep listening (or at the very least, active listening)
- They behave in ways that make the other person(s) feel safe and supported.
- They take a helping, co-operative stance in the dialogue.
- They occasionally ask questions that gently and constructively challenge old assumptions.
- They make occasional suggestions to open up alternative paths.
In her book, The Coaching Manual, Julie Starr describes four levels of listening:
Level 1 Cosmetic Listening: A passive form of listening. We may look like we’re listening but we’re thinking of something else. This can make things awkward when you miss your cue – perhaps they’ve asked you a question that you didn’t hear because you weren’t paying attention.
Level 2 Conversational Listening: An all-too-common type of listening. This is also passive where both parties are listening and talking, but not really hearing. Think of it like conversational tennis. You want to get your point in so badly you interrupt the other person, or vice versa.
Level 3 Active Listening: The level most managers are taught to aim for in courses. An active form of listening where we focus on what the other person is saying, giving them our full attention.
Level 4 Deep Listening: This is the most active form of listening. Not only are we paying attention to the words the other person is saying, but we also pay attention to the meaning and patterns, how their demeanour and tone may or may not match the words. This requires us to be fully present, in the moment.
3. Holding the silence
A 2005 study found that managers who are used to, and more tolerant of, silence seem to create more trust and have more positive effect on members of staff. This included encouraging more input from others into decision making and higher levels of motivation. And yet, as Arthur Turner says in an article for The Coaching Psychologist,
“Silence seems to be one of the least understood of the skills needed to be a good coach.”
In edition three of my LinkedIn newsletter, Manage with Confidence, I examine the impact of silence when used in a positive way. I also share a couple of tips if you want to get better at holding the silence.
10 powerful coaching questions
- What’s on your mind? Top coach, Michael Bungay Stanier, suggests this is a good question to start a coaching conversation with.
- What’s the real challenge for you? You may be hit with a lot of information, on the back of that first question. This question gets the person to think a bit more deeply. This is another one from Michael Bungay Stanier.
- How important is this to you? This is a good question to get the person to reflect on how much this matters to them. Because if it matters, they’re more likely to put the work in.
- What would you like to achieve/be different? This is a solution-oriented question as it focused on the end goal. The conversation can then reverse engineer from the answer.
- What have you done already? This helps clarify action the person has already taken. For busy and time-stretched managers and team members, this can save a lot of time and help you cut to the chase.
- What are you hoping I’ll say? In coaching, it inevitably happens that a coachee will ask for advice. Before jumping in with advice, this is one of my favourite questions to ask back in response. Their answer is usually a clue as to how they’re already thinking of tackling the issue. (Note: be prepared for the other person to be a bit surprised. After all, they didn’t expect a question in return. This is where holding the silence can come in useful).
- What are you prepared to do? (and the flipside, what are you not prepared to do?) Both of you need to understand the parameters when it comes to the effort, risk, and stretch that someone is prepared to undertake.
- On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the worst things could be and 10 the best, where would you put yourself at present? Tell me the things you are doing and have in place that allowed you to give yourself this score and not a lower one. This is a strengths-oriented question, particularly useful for people who are having a confidence or motivation wobble.
- Suppose you woke up tomorrow and things were miraculously resolved. What is the first thing you would do? In coaching, we call this The Miracle Question. Sometimes, a leap in imagination can unlock a surprising answer.
- What is the first step you will take? When will you do this by? Coaching is ultimately about action. Without action happening, it’s just a nice conversation. Action might include thinking about something, researching, reading, as well as trying something out. These two questions set a commitment which can be followed up in a future one-to-one conversation.
As you can hopefully see, coaching isn’t some mystical art. Listening, holding the silence for a little longer, and asking open questions are at the heart of good coaching. The questions I’ve shared are not exhaustive. I hope they inspire you to be more curious and ask more questions. It might just be the thing that helps your team perform even better, be more accountable, and where you can focus on the things you need to.
So, what’s the first step you’ll commit to taking?
Post author: Dr Hayley Lewis. First published on the HALO Psychology website 16 July 2026.
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STUDIES REFERENCED IN THIS ARTICLE
Zenger, J., & Folkman, J. (2016). What great listeners actually do. Harvard Business Review, July.
Zhang, L. (2023). The changing role of managers. American Journal of Sociology, 129(2), 439-484.