First things first, defining leadership
Unfortunately, the dominant narrative in leadership theory comes with a masculine basis. But, as Arwa Mahdawi says in her excellent book, Strong Female Lead, “…telling women to lean into male-centred power structures simply isn’t productive” (p.19).
And all too often, leadership is over-simplified, with the leader positioned as the all-seeing, all-knowing ‘hero’ of the story. In his book, Why do so many incompetent men become leaders? (and how to fix it), Dr Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic says, “Most organizations rely on oversimplified models of leadership potential, focusing too much on a single factor – usually the latest HR fad – while ignoring the wider range of determinants of leadership” (p.104).
A new study led by Alex Haslam digs into the leadership theories and ideas that won’t die, and comes up with much-needed clarity for the 21st century on what leadership is and isn’t. The study defines leadership as:
“The process whereby one or more people motivate one or more other people to contribute to the achievement of collective goals by shaping beliefs, values, and understandings, in context.”
In summary, the same paper states:
- Leadership is very much grounded in relationships and connections.
- Without some form of followership, there can be no leadership.
- Leadership is more about getting people to want to do things than making them do things.
- Leadership is a group process and ultimately about the activities of collectives not individuals
- Trust
- Compassion
- Hope
- Stability
With this in mind, here are 4 things that might help you on your leadership journey:
THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF LEADER YOU WANT TO BE
We know that women tend to be penalised for displaying many traits regarded as central to leadership. Research by Naomi Ellemers suggests that things such as ambition, risk-taking, assertiveness, and other similar traits tend to be frowned on in women because these are seen as stereotypically masculine traits. However, women will also be penalised when they fail to display these traits. If, instead, a woman leader behaves in stereotypically feminine ways – compassionate, listening etc. – she can easily be dismissed for not being leader-like.
In short, it seems women leaders are in a double-bind. They’re damned if they do behave in stereotypically masculine ways (typically expected of leaders) and they’re damned if they don’t. Society, systems and culture conspires. In a weird way, this is quite freeing. One of the things I ask people who attend my women in leadership programme is what they take from Naomi’s research and pretty much everyone responds with, “It doesn’t matter what I do because I’ll be penalised regardless, so I might as well be me.” And as Geraldine Gallacher says in her book, Coaching women: Changing the system not the person “Maybe the problem isn’t that women lack confidence but that confidence in women is not rewarded in the work world” (p.49).
Activity:
- Imagine its your retirement party. Several colleagues, past and present, have been asked to say a few words about you. What would you want them to say it was like to work with you?
- Key with this is not to edit yourself. And yes, it can feel uncomfortable for some doing this activity. After all, many of us have been taught that women should be humble. Push through the discomfort as there could be some helpful insights for you.
- Once you’ve noted down what you would like people to be saying about you, think about how near or far you are to achieving that kind of tribute today. This helps you identify things to work on.
ENGAGE IN REGULAR REFLECTIVE PRACTICE
If there’s one thing I recommend to my executive coaching clients, its to engage in regular reflection. Reflective practice is something used by those in the caring professions – psychology, social care, nursing etc. – because it can provide useful insights that aids learning and improvement. It also helps us make sense of things. As Iain McCormick says in his book, Reflective Practice for Coaches, “Reflective practice is the foundation of professional development; it makes meaning from experience and transforms insights into practical strategies for personal growth and organisational impact” (p.6).
An interesting study examined the impact of reflective practice on leaders. The leaders who participated in the study were asked to start each working day thinking about the kind of leader they wanted to be. They had three questions to prompt their thinking:
- What are some of my proudest leadership moments?
- What qualities do I have that make me a good leader, or will in the future?
- Imagine everything has gone as well as it possibly could in this leader role. What does that look like?
The study found that the leaders in the reflective practice group were more likely to report helping coworkers and providing strategic vision than on days they didn’t do the morning reflection. They also reported feeling more ‘leader-like’ on those days, perceiving more power and influence in the office. This also extended to aspiring leaders.
Activity:
- If reflective practice is something you want to try, as part of your leadership development journey, here is a sketchnote of prompts I’ve created to help leaders.
- If you decide to reflect daily, I suggest picking one question and setting a timer for 5 minutes and just writing what comes to mind. No editing. If you decide to reflect weekly, I suggest picking a couple of questions and setting a timer for 10 minutes.
WORK WITH A QUALIFIED COACH
A study by Kate Oldridge suggests that coaching can help increase the legitimacy of women in senior leadership roles by enabling them to be seen as leaders, enabling their leadership identity development and building their confidence. Kate also found that coaching may help women leaders increase their status, assertiveness and traits that help them stand out such as charisma, and ultimately, lead to increased confidence.
- Increased self-awareness
- Sustained behavioural changes
- Setting clear goals and actions
- Improvement in performance
- Better confidence and motivational ability
- Increased self-belief
Activity:
- Use the insights from your reflective practice to help you identify areas to work on with a coach. If you’re happy with the way things are then it may not be the right time for a coach. As Jenny Rogers says in her book, Are you listening? Storie from a coaching life “All coaching is about change. If nothing needs to change then you don’t need a coach” (p.2).
If you do feel you need a coach, then think carefully. Coaching is not only a financial investment, i’s an investment of your time and energy. Therefore, it’s important you work with a credible and credentialed coach. A good coach will be engaged in supervision, their own regular reflective practice, have indemnity insurance, and be on a recognised body’s register. Your organisation may have a list of approved leadership coaches but if they don’t, here are some good places to look:
- British Psychological Society – Register of Coaching Psychologists
- EMCC – Directory of coaches
- Association for Coaching – directory
CAREFULLY BUILD AND NURTURE YOUR PROFESSIONAL NETWORK
Relationships matter in life and in work. Good relationships in our professional lives can help us feel less alone (leadership can feel lonely at times), help us be seen and recognised, help us learn, and help us progress. Building a supportive professional network as a woman in leadership is one of the best things you can do. And when I talk about networking, I don’t mean the icky version many of us think about – the schmoozing, getting what you want from people, pressing the flesh. No. What I mean is building reciprocal relationships where people help each other, providing support and encouragement.
A study in the journal Human Relations found that women tend put self-imposed barriers – including gendered modesty – on themselves when it comes to leveraging their network. They tended to be more hesitant about tapping into their networks when it came to opportunities. This meant they missed out on the benefits that networks can provide. In her book, Wilful Blindness, Margaret Heffernen states that, “Networks reach across silos, smashing hierarchies and stereotypes. They cannot guarantee allies but they make it far easier to find them and to build the collective intelligence that shifts power structures” (p.340).
Another study suggests that women who engage regularly with a female-dominated inner circle were more likely to attain high-ranking leadership positions. The researchers found that more than 75% of women leaders involved in the study maintained a female-dominated inner circle or had strong ties to two or three women whom they communicated with frequently within their network. Interestingly, when the women had networks that were male dominated, they were more likely to hold low-ranking positions.
Don’t leave your network to chance and don’t fall into the trap of thinking your hard work is enough to get you noticed for that promotion. As Sue Unerman and Kathryn Jacob explain in their book, The Glass Wall: Success strategies for women at work,
“Another common glass wall for women is believing that getting work done as efficiently as possible is enough to build a career. Getting stuff done is an incredible asset professionally. It is not enough, however. You will not get promoted to a senior management position solely because you are highly efficient.”
Activity:
Reflect on your professional network.
- Does your network extend beyond your current organisation?
- What are you doing to cultivate meaningful, supportive relationships with those in your network?
- What is one thing you could do to expand your network?
- What is one thing you could do to improve the strength of your network?
- Think of one person in your network you could help or offer support to. Reach out to them.
I hope you found this blog post helpful in your leadership journey. If you think other women in your network might find it useful, please do share the post with them.
REFERENCES
Ellemers, N. (2018). Gender stereotypes. Annual Review of Psychology, 69, 275-298.
Greguletz, E., Diehl, M.-R., & Kreutzer, K. (2019). Why women build less effective networks than men: The role of structural exclusion and personal hesitation. Human Relations, 72, 1234-1261.
Haslam, S.A., Alvesson, M., & Reicher, S.D. (2024). Zombie leadership: Dead ideas that still walk among us. The Leadership Quarterly, 35, 101770.
Jennings, R.E., et al. (2022). Reflecting on one’s best possible self as a leader: Implications for professional employees at work. Personnel Psychology, 75, 69-90.
Nanduri, V. (2018). How is behavioural change sustained over time? Coachee perceptions of the effects of coaching one year later. International Coaching Psychology Review, 13, 48–60.
Oldridge, K. (2019). A grounded theory study exploring the contribution of coaching to rebalancing organisational power for female leaders. The Coaching Psychologist, 15, 11–23.
Yang, Y., Chawla, N.V., & Uzzi, B. (2019). A network’s gendered composition and communication pattern predict women’s leadership success. PNAS, 116, 2033-2038.
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